playing taps

this morning i was standing in front of the automatic coffee machine making myself a cup of tea. it was english breakfast tea, the only kind of tea available with caffeine. the used to have earl grey. i like earl grey tea, but i didn't like it so much in the instant form, from this machine. now that it's not available anymore, i wish i could have it. such is life. so as i waited i started tapping my feet, heel to toe, toe to heel. some secret observer might think i was trying tap dance or something. i was just being fidgety. i saw the sign-up sheet for free flu vaccines. i'm already signed up, but i checked the date. i don't want to miss it. i will be going to hospitals a lot, and i will probably be exposed to the flu, and with a toddler at home and a baby one the way i have to be careful. on the way out with my tea i grabbed a coffee stirrer, even though i do not add anything to my tea. back at my desk, as usual, i cut it in half, and proceed to chew on it and fiddle with it, because of this lifelong oral fixation i have. after lunch it will be a toothpick.

cranberry relish and white wine

if working 60 hours a week as opposed to 40 hours a week would make a substantial and appreciable difference in my career and/or the amount of money i brought home, i would do it. it's sad but true: if less time with e.w. meant more money for my family, that trade-off can be worthwhile, to a certain point.

it's the days that i am annoyed with work and i feel like no matter what i do or how hard i try i don't get anywhere any faster than if i were to put in the bare minimum.... it's those days where i'm like: F it, i'd rather just be home.

i busted my ass this weekend doing yardwork, and when i arrived with the second of two full pickup truck loads worth of weird vines and weeds from my yard, the town compost heap was closed 1/2 hour early. i was furious. bastards. i had to unload it from the truck and dump it on my driveway, and then clean the truck and give it back to my dad. i will borrow it again later this week to do it all over again.

that, and my front lawn has lawn grubs. they eat the roots, and the grass dies and or just peels right off the ground with a stroke of a rake or just your hand. we ripped up most of the dead stuff, and now my lawn looks like war zone, craters and all. in addition to the above i will have to borrow my dad's lawn spreader and spread grub killer to try to reverse the damage.

on the bright side i had a nice dinner on friday night with my wife, our friend s.p. and her b/f, and on saturday night we had a nice block party bbq and i got to play with e.w. a lot, while drinking beer and eating good food. same thing on sunday night at my mom's house- she made a pseudo thanksgiving dinner- chicken breast, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, "cranberry relish" (awesome!), biscuits, gravy, and homemade white wine.

brit for thai

tonight: see an art show opening for this dude who paints in cows blood and colored dust, then drop off e.w. at the in-law's and go out to dinner with sue and her brit boyfriend. sat: mow the lawn, block party. sunday: maybe go out to breakfast with my grandpa.

poem

"be still, the sparrows of despondency!"
matt implores, gin in hand
convulsing in ecstasy at the thought
of gregg's name

- by the IOD