poem

i am sitting on the side stage,
the music is quite loud
and i'm not quite sure i can hear myself think,
but at the same time it's white noise,
a constant noise.
so i have an excuse not to have to engage
in meaningless, inconsequential "hi's"
with people i do not know.
i don't mind sitting alone so much
i just wish i had something to lean on.
i hate standing up for long periods of time.
when my legs get tired i put all of my weight on one leg
to rest the other.
the other knee will bend, and my hip will jut out-
a rather awkward looking pose...
every one else is dancing
or standing around and talking
i just sit there with my hat pulled down over my forehead
just enough so i can look around
without making people self conscious
if i absentmindedly stare.
every once in a while i stand up and walk around
and try to find someone i know.
my girl-friends try to make me dance
but i can't, i feel like an idiot.
i'll run into my guy-friends but they are busy mingling.
chances are i will wander around until the dance is over
or until someone "needs to talk".
somehow that is a responsibility always reserved for me-
but i don't always mind so much.
it's only when i slow dance comes on that i start to feel lonely.