song titles

"the day i made "bohemian rhapsody' the blueprint for my life"

"giggles the executioner"
"sit and spin sores"
"pinwheel incisions"
"welsch's hematoma"
"black death dum dums"

"i'm the star of the show, officer"
"i fly this ship, your honor"
"the line starts back there, your excellency"

"duvet armistice at 3:00 AM"
"undermined, but i don't mind: undeterred and blind"
"francisco de goya painted the walls in there before he died, now it's the computer room"
"in a final act of defiance, the crew devoured the ship"
"but my hands will be soaking in a bowl of jelly; so i will have to type with my nose."
"tracy's robot teaparty"

lyrics

a goo-goo boo
a boo-hoo-hoo
look at my shoe
my shoe said: "you,
you're a damn fool
talking to a shoe
in a pool of drool"
and i said
SHUT UP SHOE!
SHUT THE F*CK UP

"i'm required by town ordinance to have a sign in my yard that reads: 'beware: sassy man!' "

song titles

"female jogger tragically drowns in a gigantic cosmopolitan"
"my cafeteria advances"
"big bird, what hast thou wrought?"
"the election-cycle decompression room has been closed due to lack of interest. sincerely, the management"

altitude

'this is air traffic controll to flight 6SK... what's your vector?'

'i am approching an altitude of six beers and two shots, do you copy?'

'it looks like you might be headed into a low-pressure system. i suggest you climb to 7 beers, and possibly a shot of jager, then after that it'll be smooth sailing'

'ggggrrrreeeg.. over and out'...

'attention passengers, this is your captain speaking, my altitude is currently 6 beers and counting... I have turned on the 'fasten seatbelt' sign, please return to your seats. air traffic controll has asked us to raise our altitutde to seven beers, so you may experience some turbulance as the co-pilot and I kayak and trade whiskey screams.'

...

'attention passengers and flight attendants, prepare for a smash landing'"

correspondence

after sharing an article on gmail, and discussing how "big brother" will read your email and use it to track & punish political dissidents:
_____________________________________________

dear i.o.d.,

with that in mind, i just wanted you to know, despite my previous "joke" emails- i love bush, and i love jesus. i love tax cuts, and i hate liberal wackos.

god bless america,

c2677
_____________________________________________

Gangbang a rottweiler's shadow!
_____________________________________________

i.o.d.,

i am saddened by your dadaist diversions. i can only interpret this
to mean that you love neither bush nor jesus. sadly, i will have to
refer you to a faith-based counseling program for people with CLITS
(chronic liberal independent thought syndrome). also, you will be
hearing from the IRS. and you just got a parking ticket.

c2677
_____________________________________________

LOL! ...at the acronym

song titles

"Give yourself to Scrod"
"Salmon in a Tux Receives his Lifetime Achievement Award"
"Adventures in Falconry"
"(Don't Wanna Think About) Tomorrow's Claws"

"it's only forever once"
"prelude to the paddywhacker"
"the frank gifford of bass fishing"
"the fall of man (into the ball pit)"

song titles / band name

"Parabola for Breakfast"

"asymptote omelet"
"isosceles traveller"
"collinear crepes"

"rhombus scrapple"
"fresh squeezed transversals"
"adam and eve on a vertex"

"home style postulates"
"polyhedrons over easy"
"adam and eve on a scalene triangle"

"hypotenuse juice"
"poached quadrilaterals"
"i can't believe it's non-Euclidean"

band name: "sight unseen"

weekend

(from correspondence)
how was my weekend? fri- ?? don't remember. i think i had a beer and ate at my in-laws. sat- crowded rainy day mall shopping, went out to dinner at roccos for beer and scallops. sun- e.w.'s gym class & yard work. bbq'd out back a bit.

that and a.j. slept for 8 hours last night form 7 pm to 3 am! and i played the guitar and sang to/for him, really one on one for the first time, and he liked it, and was cooing and stuff. he knows some songs b/c i sing/hum them late at night while feeding him. when he heard them with the guitar it was like he recognized it, and liked it... i dunno, hard to explain but it was great.