i had two dreams last night-
1) i bought life insurance, telling the agent 'it's about time', and that rates were bound to rise, and then...
2) at the mall i intervene to stop some houdlums from taounting my brother in law (who is brain damaged), and they threaten me with knives and bring me to the MAC machine to make me draw out money, and i'm trying to think of how to get away while we wait in line, but then the dream ends!

beach

we were at LBI this weekend. it was fun. e.w. was a handfull sometimes, but we had a good time all in all. the ocean was nice. not too cold, certainly not too warm. it was partly sunny. a good mix of hot sun and cool breezes. i had yummy scallops, shrimp and flounder. and amazing cold cuts from an awesome authentic italian deli in surf city. unstoppable. they have meat, and amazing olives, and all this pre-cooked stuff as well as ingredients. you just buy fish accross the street at the market, and then buy everything else there. instant feast.

have i moved?

have you ever been sitting at your desk and looking at your computer and suddenly think to yourself: 'what the F have i been doing for the past 30 minutes? what is happening, have i moved recently? can i move? ...' etc..

jumping the gun

i was at columbia presbyterian hospital in manhattan, looking on while one of my colleagues from the netherlands show a pediatric anesthesiologist how to use a hand-held stimulating device to monitor neuromuscular blockade.

there were six of us crammed into a rental car. it fit six people, technically, but i was all the way in the back and my head hit the ceiling. the girl next to me was on my deaf side, and she kept talking to me and being nice, but i was uncomfortable because i really couldn't hear her half the time. there was a lot of traffic.

when we got to the the hospital, valet parking took the car. we all just sort of filed in the building, no one really knew where we were headed, apparently. we all got on the first elevator we saw. i was last on, standing by the control panel. the door closed and i said "what floor?"... silence. one guy said "10th". i pushed the "10" button, and it lit up and we started moving. on the way up we decided that we really had no idea where we were going, and that we should go back down and ask at the desk, so i pushed "1". when the door opened, no one moved; but we saw the sign across the hall on the wall and someone said "hey, it's anesthesia!". i couldn't read the letters, i couldn't focus. i stuck my hand out and stopped the doors from closing. by a stroke of luck, we were in exactly the right place.

the young doctor met us in the hallway, and admitted that he was surprised to see us. "great. people usually call from downstairs, and i have to go down and get them". we all played along.

we met the sr. anesthesiologists right around the corner. a man and a woman. one was wearing a white coat and casual clothes; she was "academic" today. the guy was in scrubs, he was in and out of surgery. "i'm paired with a first-year this week, i've got to stick close to him- i'll see you guys after lunch". so we had to do the whole presentation twice, once for each doctor.

the young guy lead us to a moderately sized conference room. the walls on one side were lined with rows of medicals. some were old, bound, ugly colors, like 30-year old virgin reference books in the library; others were thick magazines.

there were three or four different kinds of chairs. some were leather swivel chairs, old but nice. others were cheap, upholstered, basic chairs- one of which was notably dirty. there was a water cooler, flanked by crates with big water jugs- some empty, some full. by the door was a mini-fridge, a microwave, and a coffee machine. i think the coffee machine was not in use, there was only instant coffee on the counter. the microwave was old, used, tired but faithfully functioning. the fridge was black, with a white sheet on the front that said "on friday july 9th this refrigerator will be emptied- please remove your belongings or they will be discarded." it's after july 9th. the thing was still filled with crap. i know this because 20 minutes into the meeting this guy came in and made tea. judging by the way he acted, he seemed to think that if he pretended that it wasn't a big deal that he was barging in on our meeting, and just mater-of-fact-ly went about his business, that it therefore would not interrupt or distract us. on his way out i caught the door behind him, and switched the sign on the front from "vacant" to "occupied". one of the research nurses looked at me briefly, nodding approvingly.

i pretty much didn't say anything, but just listened. one lady took out the kit and showed everyone how it worked. a power-point presentation. then another guy took over and hooked himself up to the monitor, and the monitor to his laptop. we got a live demonstration. he attached the electrodes to his arm and made his thumb twitch with little shocks to his ulnar nerve. once i chimed in during his presentation, because i thought he accidentally skipped something important- but a second after it came out of my mouth- i realized that maybe he was just about to say it. he politely followed up on my comment and continued. later, i apologized and told him i was sorry if i jumped the gun. he joked with me a bit but then assured me it was no big deal.

yeah, so my new job now involves traveling to research hospitals and clinics around the northeast, initiating/running/monitoring clinical research.

on the way out of the hospital another colleague of mine sat down on a bench to have a well-deserved cigarette after our long meeting upstairs on the 10th floor. she got to talking with a lady next to her. she learned the sad, sad story of this lady's son, who was tragically stricken ill while visiting new york on vacation. i'll spare you the details, but it would make you cry. my colleague relayed the story to me while we drove back to the office. as with any tragic story involving children, i immediately thought of my wife and son, and i wondered if they were OK. (sometimes, when i get this feeling i call my wife's cell phone to see if they are OK. hearing my son's voice instantly makes me feel better.) my colleague went on to say that she has a daughter the same age as the tragically ill boy, and it made her sad, but also gave her some perspective. she vowed to be more appreciative of what she has. i agreed. then i lamented that i will probably be prone to the same thing: finding myself on the receiving end of outrageous and tragic tales told by strangers in hospitals. i explained that i used to believe i had "tell me your problems" written across my forehead; because eve since high school i've always found that people are prone to opening up to me and telling me details about their lives. (after all, this is why i became a peer counselor in college, it came naturally.) she agreed, and said she feels like the same thing happens to her a lot. has been doing this job for a few years, so she's probably heard a lot of crazy things. but she must not spend a lot of time in big cities like new york; because while we were talking, she took notice of a street vendor in the middle of the road, selling hot dogs to people in cars who were inching along in traffic. she thought it was really weird.

more and more

so e.w. is talking more and more; he's totally a little boy. in stead of feeding him bottles and baby mushy food; he eats pizza, likes to read, swim, and watch tv. on the 4th of july i gave him a little american flag and he was just running around the yard, waving it back and forth and giggling - pure unadulterated bliss. amazing. also, recently we're trying to get him to recognize when he's done something wrong, like spill somehting on purpose, and get him to say "i'm sorry" and help clean it up. which isn't easy...

'No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities.'
— Christian Nestell Bovee, American author (1820-1904)

discussing lake revelrey

Tiiime to: break scales, toss chairs, pass out on docks, piss on Aunts, trash the woods, smash a chick, feel remorse, piss in a cup, throw shit, kayak on the porch, have your dad walk around our passed-out bodies, get lost in the woods after 'ditching' everyone, skinny dip in broad daylight, build a fire while drunk in the woods and go into a trance and write a poem in a notebook and then burn a hole in the poem, while standing around drinking at a party- suddenly drop your beer and jump in a nearby canoe and paddle away very quickly in the pitch black of night for no reason and lay down on your back and listen to the sound of your beating heart in the silence while contemplating the stars, dive off the high dive with a 30-pack box on yr head, zip your friend into a very large abanoned suitcase and drag him down the road, and pass out in an abandoned ice cream freezer at the beach.

i have to find the time

several amazzing little anec dote tid bits from my weekend should really be blogged, but i have to find the time...

like this guy at breakfast at the B&B in new hope who gave us his mini life-story about how he was recently in a motorcycle accident that crushed his foot and he hasn't been able to go to work at his job as a mechanic...

or my dream last night that my father and i were smashing the tooth-pick homes of a colony of very tiny people who were infesting the shallow-water areas of estling lake.

Terminal

I want to have an electronic project called Terminal.

These song titles would be songs.

I'd create the songs on pro tools. I'd take, like, a guitar note, and pour the effects on, loop it, invert it, twist it, add shit, then pile it on.

So it'd be real machine-like drones for 45 minutes, no singing.

- by the IOD

we have no chemistry

over an expensive dinner and fine alkaline wine,
my longing ions reach out for your hands across
this white-linen periodic table of elements;
but all you have to offer are some noble gasses

a little justice in a baseball park

the last baseball game i went to was a yankees game - i caught a ball, a line drive into the seats that bounced around a bit first and came to me across a few empty seats nearby. some dude behind tried to grab it from me, but i hunched over and covered it up... i stood up and held it up, and showed it to my brother in law, etc., celebrating and feeling pretty cool.

and just then i saw some dude being lead away by park staff and friends, he was bleeding from his lip... the ball had hit him in the face before it came to me... i chased the guy down in the hall and gave him the ball. he seemed generally appreciative, but was primarily concerned with, you know, the bleeding. when i came out of the hall and back to my seat, empty-handed, the crowd in the area broke into applause... and that felt better then catching the ball!

that thing you do

i am picturing you doing that thing where you pretend to shoot yourself in the head with a gun in each hand, one pointed at each temple, and you pretend that the bullets collide inside as you make the noise of your head exploding like a juicy watermelon.

scent of a woman

i just called this doctor's office in upstate NY, and when the lady answered, i could smell her perfume. seriously! it was wierd.

what i ate today

'i ate a live, skwawking, flapping, wild turkey, who bled all over my desk, crapped on my mousepad, and pecked me a few times in the face.'

the problem is the morning after

friday night i took E to the playground and then stayed home and studied neuroscience while my wife went out to dinner with her friend camel for her birthday. satuday we went to the lake with E, and took him to the beach to meet brett and mike b., where we played in the sand, on the swings, and put E's feet in the water. then we, mike, brett, etc. went to stewarts in denville for ice cream floats and dinner for E. i had a cheese steak, even though my cholesterol is like, 500. later on, my wife stayed home while E slept, and i went to the lake for an evening of estling lake decacdence at allison's house. i drank many beers, played a$$hole and flip-cup, etc. etc. there's like a while new crowd of younger kids who maintained a healthy huddle in one area, and the old-school crew of allison-robin-bryan-brian-erin-catherine, but also a few really younger (frosh in college) kids who i didn't even recognize- they all looked like they were in grade schoool to me(!).... i had a red bull and cut and run at midnight. who knows after that... sunday we took it easy and hung out with my wife's parents, but i went home in the afternoon to mow the lawn and stuff, while my wife took E to the zoo. i wish i could have gone, but the lawn won't mow itself! we went out to dinner at a chinese resturant, and i asked for my meal spicy, saying: "i don't want to go to the hospital, but you know, in that ballpark". it was barely, barely, mildly hot. it's like you have to grab the person and shake them and scream, "i'm not kidding god dammit, make it spicy!" what are they afraid of? if it was up to me, i would have just gone to a thai place, you never have that problem there! the only problem is the morning after... it's like if you're the non-asian guy in a chinese resturant and you say "please make it spicy, i'm not kidding", they are trained to tell the cook "there's a white guy out there who thinks he knows what spicy is, but obviously he's delusionsal. please add a few dozen molecules of hot sauce and i think that'll be enough". asking for spices on the side is an alternative, but it's not only demoralizing, but it's never as good as when it's cooked in... that's why thai food rocks. even the ice water is hot.

cat names

yesterday at lunch we discussed the merits of naming your cat or dog after your favorite alcohol. i have a cat, so i thought of it mainly in that context. if i was getting a new cat- what drink would i name it after?

10. 'Michelob'
9. 'triplesec'
8. 'grappa'
7. 'Bud'
6. 'moonshine'
5. 'merlot'
4. 'Schnapps'
3. 'Jonny Walker'
2. 'chianti'
1. 'Captain Morgan'

da da deuce

e.w.'s good. he's talking more and more. i've lost count. every day something new. he's climbing more, and being more adventurous. my wife was was worried that he is too cautious. but he's getting there

his thing lately is to give big smooches when you pick him up.

he loves dr suess. or, "da da duece", as he says it.

last night, for the first time in quite a while, he fell asleep on me while i read to him, right before bedtime. it was the best just to have him on my lap, all still and peaceful, breathing, warm. i seriously considered just sitting there in the rocking chair and enjoying it for the whole night, but in stead, i gently picked him up, and while continuing to recite the last few pages of the book (which i have memorized), i laid him down in the crib and tucked him in and said goodnight.

da da duce

update on my son: E's good. he's talking more and more. i've lost count. every day brings something new. he's clibming more, and being more adventurous. my wife was worried that he was a wuss, but i think he's just cautious. he's getting there.

his thing lately is to give you big smooches when you pick him up.

he loves dr suess. or, "da da duece", as he says it.

last night, for the first time in quite a while, he fell asleep on me while i read to him, right before bedtime. it was the best just to have him on my lap, all still and peaceful, breathing, warm. i seriously considered just sitting there in the rocking chair and enjoying it for the whole night; but in stead, i gently picked him up, and while continuing to recite the last few pages of the book (which i have memorized), i laid him down in the crib and tucked him in and said goodnight.

just hearing things

this morning i was driving to work, listening to NPR on the radio, drinking my coffee in a paper aroura cup, and cursing at people who were going too slow; it was a typical morning. but then, while stopped at a traffic light, i could have sworn i heard a cat meowing. i looked around, and over my shoulder and into the back seat, but i didn't hear it again. i must be hearing things, i thought to myself. but it wouldn't be the first time i've unintentionally taken a cat for a ride in a car. once i took my parent's cat Kasey to the pizzaria in Denville. The car had been in the driveway with the windows open in the summer, and i guess she just wandered in, exploring, as cats sometimes will do. down the road a ways my friend brett and i heard the cat meow from the back seat. she looked scared and confused. we were too far to turn back or let her out, and we wanted our pizza, and besides, it was a little funny. ...so anyway, no cat today. just my imagination.

mid-air chase to the death

this morning, while walking to the metro, i saw a bird (a chickadee?) wrestling with a cicada...the bird had it in its beak, but the cicada was persistent -- buzzing and flapping its wings, so that the bird couldn't get a strong hold.

then the cicada broke free and flew away -- but the bird went after it, and for a few exhilarating seconds, they were in a mid-air chase to the death, coiling and swerving through the air! the bird then picked the cicada out of midair, brought it back to the ground, where 5 feet away, a precocious squirrel was watching, ready to pounce!

the squirrel approached, but then the bird flew away (because there was a car coming), but the cicada was securely in its mouth. it was awesome!

- by the IOD

last night i had a dream that i was talking with my mom. i was on the way out the door at her house, and my wife was waiting in the car. my mom started talking about the fact that she is retiring this year. she was having second thoughts. she was glad that she would have to deal with annoying things about work, stupid people, stupid situations, but she also would miss the people she worked with, and was secretly looking forward to things scheduled to start next year after she's gone. she said "what am i going to do all day?". i tried to reassure her that it was the right thing to do, that she could start by taking a well-deserved rest! and i insisted she would find all sorts of things to do, and that she'd be enjoying herself in no time. that's all. the funny thing is, in real life my mom is retiring, but she seems to have absolutely no reservations, and she's really excited and looking forward to it. am i projecting apprehension and doubts onto my mom in this dream? why?

seeing is believing, part IV

i forgot to mention yesterday... my eyes are hurting again for the first time in a while. it was bad yesterday. i thought that i was off the hook when the IT guy came over and changed my screen settings, but i guess i'll have to do more eye exercizes or whatever.

what a gas

this has never happened to me before. this morning i got in my car at the end of my driveway, started the engine, turned on the stereo, ejected the cd and started looking for a new one to put in for the ride to work. so far so good. after less than a minute of shuffling through cd's, my car engine shut off! i knew i was running low on gas, but i thought i would have at least enough to get to the gas station on the way out of town. i couldn't believe it- i though maybe it was the fact that the driveway is inclined, and that the gas that was left was just all on one side of the tank. i tried to start the engine again, and it started, but then quickly sputtered and died again as i tried to back it up. i thought quickly, and went around to the garage to get the gas can i just filled up for the lawn mower. thank goodness i filled it last week. there was more than enough in the can to get me to the gas station. it took me a minute to get the gas cap back on, but then i was on my way. i wondered if any neighbors saw me filling my tank with a gas can in the driveway? so then i was driving down the street, and thinking of the fastest way to a gas station, that was also in the general direction of my office. i picked my usual route, and after cursing at a few people who were going too slow, i got the gas station and got $20 worth. in conclusion, that little red light on the dash board comes on now and then, and i always tell myself, 'i've got enough to get me to the gas station!', but it finally happened today- i ran out of gas. one thing i did think of as i drove on to work, was that if i had not idled in the driveway for a minute to change my cd, i probably would have stalled at a nearby traffic light, block away from my garage and gas can. that would have been a pain in the ass. however, i never ended up picking out a cd. at the gas station i stared listening to 'morning edition' on NPR/WNYC, and i got hooked and listened the whole way to work. that happens a lot.

later on, i passed a school that's a few blocks before my office. a crossing guard stepped into the road with his "stop" sign and signaled me to stop. then he let some minivans pull away, and let some kids cross the street. little kids with little backpacks, skipping along the crosswalk, under the watchful eye and outstretched arms of the man in the orange vest. i thought to myself, "god bless the crossing guards".

last night i had a dream that i was at the cannes film festival, i think. (the reason i say that is because i remember talking with people about a film called "osama". now i don't know if that's just my brain filling in for "fahrenheit 9/11", but anyway...). i don't remember much except that it was on a beach. there were lots of people there in bathing suits and bikinis. i found an open deck chair next to a bunch of other people and started mingling, talking with a girl on my left. there was a college-feel to the scene; it was not present-day, per se. i think in this dream i was a single guy and trying to meet chicks. i felt awkward, but i was trying to be outwardly confident. that's it. i think had this dream because i was talking with someone over the weekend about how bad i was at being single.

cello there

so yeah, here i am sitting at my old desk with my old group at my old job. on paper i have gotten a promotion to a different job in a neighboring department, but my computer is not ready, so here i am. i actually have some lingering projects to wrap up and/or hand over, and also a training manual to write; so it's not a big deal that i'm stuck here. but at the same time i wish it were just over already and i could get into my new job. i'll be travelling, regionally, in stead of coming to the office every day. the travelling in the beginning will probably be the toughest because i will be in training mode. that means that i will be travelling with other people, to "shadow" and learn from them in the field. this means, of course, that i will be a slave to their schedule, and also that i will be travelling all over the place, even across the country, since there aren't enough people around here who can train me. whatever! the point is, in the beginnign it will be tough... so it will be a sink-or-swim test for whether or not it will throw my family-life into disarray. if we make it through this summer, the rest should be easier, because i will be making my own schedule and also staying closer to home, generally. furthermore, i am excited to start already because i will be learning a whole lot more than i ever would in this old job- i'm finally getting into the mainstream research side of the business.

oh yeah, and also i got a package in the mail yesterday from this lady who i met in europe at my training seminar. background: we were all cooped up in this hotel & conference center, and there was a billiards room with a piano in one part of the building. i was sitting and enjoying a beer in an adjacent room while flipping through a dutch art history book, when i heard the piano next door. it was beautifully played classical piano music, i honestly thought it might be a player-piano becuase it sounded that good. anyway, she was someone who i knew, and i complimented her between songs but then retreated back to my couch in the next room- i got the feeling that she didn't like to be watched. i sat and enjoyed a few more songs, finishing my beer and looking at more paintings in the book. later, at dinner, i brought it up again and we got to talking about music. she said she had studied piano ever since she was young, and that she continued to play as often as she could. she mentioned that she would always play for her family, but liked to provide background music for dinners and get-togethers, as opposed to recitals, where she felt that she was being watched too closely. we got to talking about how she is in the process of learning the cello. i mentioned that i know a little about cello music, and that i really enjoyed yo-yo ma's bach cello suites; and i asked if she had any reccomendations. she told me that she has friends who are professional musicians and music teachers, and that they have an excellent CD. they are a couple that play as a duet; one plays a classical guitar and the other plays the cello. the cd sounded very interesting, especially since i also like classical guitar music. so i gave her some money and she promised to send me one. i listened to it last night while having dinner with my son. he didn't seem to mind it. i liked it very much. it's a pretty diverse selection of songs; and the arrangement is very dynamic, including some string scraping and guitar/cello body tapping for precussion. all in all i like it very much. oh, and in the package was a photo of a mountaintop (the alps?), towering above the clouds, and a note. i plan to write back and tell her i like the cd very much.

here i am in amsterdam

i was in the airport in amsterdam for about 1/2 hour, then took a cab through lots of cow-country to get to this corporaste training center here in misty, cool, overcast Sint-Michielsgestel, at the De Ruwenberg conference center. it´s very much out in the sticks, but it´s nice in that it´s serene and relaxing. there´s lots of grass, outdoor sculpture, benches near little ponds, a few fountains. there´s a little town nearby down the road with a few resturants, shops, and a pub- but they are all closed today so it looks like i´m stuck here. there is one other organon person who i met at the airport and we talked about doubling back to amsterdam to see the sights, but just now we looked at each other and simultaiously realised that we´re pretty tired and that the drive might literally put us to sleep, and our main goal is to stay up all day today to make sure we get on local time ASAP.... so we´ll see. the museums can wait, i suppose.

going to the netherlands

so i got in the car at 3:00 sharp back at home, and the driver whisked me away to newark airport. right away he asked me when my flight took off, and we quickly determined that they had scheduled my pickup at least an hour early. he had me there in 15 minutes or so, and then i had about 2 hours to kill before my plane actually borded. i guess with international flights they leave you a lot of time, but in this instance it was unecessay. i got a salad thingy at this cafe and then i went through security. they didn´t make me take off my shoes or anything. i went to the terminal and got a coffee and started reading some material for my training. there was a german family waiting for the same plane, and they had a young girl and a baby girl, about 1 year old. they were cute and it made me miss my boy.

'Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over. There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.'

- Fitzgerald

chimp friends

moon wrote:

'Get a chimp high
Make him drive a bumper car
Sit back
Enjoy the ride'

amazing. imagine if you blogged all this stuff?

God help us.

it would become in instant internation sensation. the most popular blog in lithuania. they will think chimps and cheetahs run the country. (they do) lithuanian: 'chwen i kom to amerrika, i vil orlder a 'cheetah size frize' at MAC donaaldz... and vill eat it vit chimp... yez, many chimp vriend i vill half' "

the equally potent correlary

while writing email today at work and discussing the finer points of FDA policy with my pen pal and sometimes-intellectual-nemesis 'the BFF King', I was also on the phone with my wife with my son playing in the background, and he fell and hit his head and was crying, and my wife dropped the phoen to pick him up and console him, and i swear my heart nearly burst out of my chest and into the phone to try and see if he was OK. he cried a lot, but he was fine after a little bit, and my wife picked up the phone again. thank goodness.
it's an indescribable feeling, having a kid...

kid = normal happiness x 1 million

but also, the less-frequent but equally potent correlary

kid = normal worry/fear/anxiety x 1 million

"Age... garrulous, recounts the feats of youth."

-James Thomson, Autumn

brewdoggie

heeeere brewdoggie! heeere brewdoggie! good boyy!

(glug, glug, glug)

GOOD DOGGIE~~!!!

burp!

(pass out)

ITfDfRBRR

IRS Form 1615-A: Itemization Table for Deductions for Rock-Band Related Revelry (ITfDfRBRR)

Date Amount Description
2/28/04 $ 615.22 6 hours spent dry heaving into a contruction cone on the off-ramp to I-9 in Nashville TN.

Date Amount Description
2/15/04 $ 98.00 Deduction for mental pain and suffering related to band-mate taunting, after being shown photographic evidence that indeed, you did make out with the girl with one leg last night after the show.

seeing is believeing, part III

Oh, by the way, my eyes have been fine. This computer/IT dude was at my desk and he changed my settings on my monitor so that it's radiating at a higher megahertz rate or whatever. so it's frying my eyes with even more juice, but it feels good- no more pain. go figure.

drag day

i'm dragging a little today. i'm thinking about all of the time i'll be spending away from home when traveling for work, and thinking that i should savor my family time a littl emore thna i currently do... so like clockwork my wife informed me that she's going out shopping with her mom tonight and that i have our son all to myself for dinner and bath/bedtime. wish granted!

ouch

i just went to pick up my phone on my desk here at work, and as i lifted the phone to my head i hit myself in the eye with the phone. so despite the fact that i had my morning cup of coffee, it seems as though my brain is not yet fully functioning. i better not get a bruise. this can't bode well for the rest of my day today.

seeing is believeing, part II

that optometrist lady is an idiot, my eyes are hurting more than ever. i tried wearing my old glasses, but i think they made it worse. i don't know. i also try staring at somethign far away every 10 minutes, like she said... that might be helping. but the point is- that lady must have missed something because i am having a problem. your eyeballs aren't supposed to hurt.

the light at the end of the produce aisle

i was in costco today, walking my son around in the stroller while my wife was shopping, when the lights in the whole place suddenly went out. suprisingly, no on ereally panicked, even though at least half the store was so dark that you couldn't see your hand in front of your face. i was close to the large front door, so i could see by virtue of the sunlight coming in. either way, most people slowly made their way to the light. but at the same time, there was that old familiar feeling- i bet everyone was feeling it to- i thought to myself that there had been some kind of terrorist attack that knocked out a power plant or something. i remeber hearing a commentator some time not to long after september 11th, who described people's TV-watching habits in the weeks afterwards- he said that people were glued to their 24-hour cable-news channels, watching, waiting for the news to end. and they would see it live- provided that they, or the TV station's transmission facility, was not instantly vaporized or something. so anyway, the lights came back on after a little while and things went back to normal... except that the photo-printing machine blew a fuse or something and we can't get our pictures until monday.

this past weekend i had a dream about being in italy. i believe i was there with family, at the very least i recall being there with my son. anyway, i was there visiting relatives. i was with an uncle of mine, who had immigrated to the US in his early 20's and has lived hear for another 20, and who was back there living in italy again. he was showing me his place and urging me to stay there for an extended period of time... like a month. his house was a nice villa on a farm, with all the typical imagery- bathed in soft golden light; bales of hay; bunches of grapes; hand-made pasta; fresh olives and tomatoes; beautiful marble floors; comfortabe, simple, wooden furniture; balconies overlooking farm valleys. all these things i saw on my trip to italy. we spent one long day on a train, riding from rome to florence. we accidentally ended up on a "local" train, which made all the stops. in retrospect, it was nice. we got to stop and see many small towns on the way, rather than speeding past them all. beautiful fields of gain, one amazing sunflower field. anyway, i wanted to stay, i wanted to raise my son there, in such a rich, natural setting. i was torn, i felt the urgency of life at home- nagging me. it was the embodiment of my longing for a simpler life- an invitation from a welcoming, generous relative to whisk my family away to an idyllic, pastoral life. i don't think i'm explaining it very well, but whatever.

seeing is believeing

so i went to the eye doctor because i had been noticing that my vision is not as clear as it used to be. i thought maybe i would be able to get away with not needing glasses before i'm old and grey- but apparentlt this is not the case. i made an appointment, printed out online driving directions, and went on my way. i took the wierd eye test two times, with two different people, looking through this crazy machine and having lazers shoot into my eyes and this ting touch my cornea. they gave me wierd drops in my eyes, which i hated. and in the end, the doctor is like: "you're eyes are good." and she wrote me a perscription for glasses to use for diving at night and for looking at far-away things like movies at the theatre and overhead projectors. i felt a little cheated. i was all ready to start wearing glasses- i had prepared myself. oh well, whatever. so my eyes were dialated and i couldn't see anything close up. driving home was fun, couldn't read my directions, or the street signs. i made it back, though. i stopped at the bakery and the pizza place, for dinner and dessert. in the bakery i was looking ing the little display cases... but i couldn't read the little signs so i didn't know what anything was. the old lady behind the counter at the bakery was rude to me in a crabby-old-lady kind of way when she asked if i needed help and i said "i'm having trouble deciding", she responded with a sardonic "well you only have 1/2 an hour till we close". i wanted to say, "F you, if you think i'm ever coming here again!". but a younger girl behind the counter sort of sepped in and was nice to me. i explained to her that i just had my eyes dialated and she helped me understand what i was looking at. the old lady tried to warm up to me a little and kept suggesting the tiramasu. but i purposely didn't even consider it because that lady pissed me off. for all i know the tiramasu was better than what i ended up buying, but really i don't care becuase the satisfaction of ignoring that lady was sweeter than anything in that store.

last night i had a horrifying dream where i tried to save someone from drowning, but i couldn't. it was in like a subterranean storm drain thingy, where they had fallen, and i jumped in after. i was underwater and was wearing this heavy jacket; swimming in it was impossible, i couldn't move my arms fast enough- like i was swimming in glue. and the person disappeared, was sucked into a pipe, as i reached out and grabbed for them. a feeling of paralysis and panic and fright, and the dream cut off there. my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach just writing about it.

finger painting

so today i came into work with a beatuiful red finger paining from my 1 year old son. it was made at a baby class with my wife yesterday. it's his first official artwork (if you don't count crayons on resturant placemats). it's red paint on newsprint. there are two distinct handprints, and also a lot of smearing and stuff. i love it. i put it up in my cubicle. the first of many, no doubt. yet another item to check off on my list of obligatory proud-daddy hallmarks.

debaucherous wine room

went out last saturday night with my cube-neighbor friend from work, and his girlfriend from the legal department. i had a seafood feast of a swordfish steak, calamari, clams, etc, in marinara sauce... it was nice but the service was exceptionally slow, and i complained to the manager after dinner, and he gave us 50% of the bill in gift certificates... which was nice.

sunday we went to a formal part at a dining hall/country club for my wife's great aunt's 80th b-day. they had some excellent food, including wonderful shrimp. there were oysters but i passed. i had a little too much to drink, and crashed when we got home. i should have shoveled slushy snow that had been accumulating on the driveway alll day in stead of goign to this part and getting ripped. it all turned to ice and now it will be there all winter.

but at the dining hall they had this amazing subteranian basement room, like a wine tasting room. (i wandered there while walking the baby around)... it was all dark with lots of stone and wrought iron and dimly lit with flickering organe fake-candle chandliers. with old carved wood shairs with bright red upholstry, all set up in a row with the big, ornate chair in the middle. i sat the baby down in it an stepped back and he looked like a little prince. and all of these cool dusty old bottles of wine everywhere in the walls. behind this gate was this old, carved table set with old fashioned metal platesm goblets, and stuff. it was like right out of a midevil paining. i magined having a debaucherous wine and cheese party there. it was like heaven.

album cover art

silo man

last night i had a dream that i saw on a cruise ship with bono from U2. it was like a 9/11 cruise ship dream. boats were racing everywhere in an attempt to avoid various terrorists who were trying to crash into cruise liners and yacths with their own boats and planes. we crashed into another boat. i was disoriented and i almost lost sight of and got separated form my wife and son, but i grabbed onto the back of their rescue boat and held on before it sped away.

rip your heart out

some people can write music that just rips your heart out. they somehow tap into that cosmic jungian stream of basic, raw human emotion, and channel it into words and music. i don't think it's a skill. i thint it's like lightning, it just happens.

waiting in the closet

on the way home from vacation in the western carribian i left my favorite old dirty faded nj nets hat on the plane. i realized this while claiming our baggage at the airport, and announced it out loud. my mother-in-law said "yay!". i guess it was time to retire that old hat. i have a new one waiting in the closet.

thought

i miss spending significant amounts of time sitting in cafes/diners- drinking coffee and reading, even if it was for school. a simple pleasure, long gone. lately, we've been very very busy- but hypothetically, yes, i could skip out at night after the baby and my wife are asleep and go to a starbucks and order a latte and read john fante. but right now, it feels as if it's a lost art from a dead, forgotten age

snack warrior

so i went to the snack machine and got a pack of M&M's. i poured the content onto my desk, so i could pick through them and eat each color in succession (obsessive-compulsive, i know). first blue (my least favorite), then green, red, yellow, and orange; i left brown for last. when i had finished all the other colors, the remaining nine brown M&M's formed the unmistakable pattern of the constellation orion on my desk. what does this mean? is aurora warning me to beware of scorpions? or is it just a sign that winter is beginning?

hot milk

i'm pretty sure that, in heaven, after making the long journey up the tunnel with the light at the end, trudging through acres of knee-deep snow through the rolling hills of limbo, you are beckoned and finally greeted inside the pearly gates by the angels with hot milk and raspberry cookies.

(man-lo day memories, of frolicking drunk in the snow, drinking jd by the boat, and coming back inside to "hot milk" and cookies.)

doors and all

ah, so i took yesterday off from work... we had movers move all the big stuff from our condo to the house. i was helping a lot because they were paid by the hour- so now i'm sore here and there, especially my back. have you ever taken a apart and put together a fridge, doors and all? it's fun, fun, fun! but really, everything went quite well. i did have to rip the moldings off the basement door to get my desk into the house. thank goodness, it fits in the low-ceiling basement office. and the fridge fot too! i was there late last night again after dinner, moving furniture into its likely final resting places. it was exciting to feel like it was really coming together! it feels like a home finally, not just an empty shell or whetever. we're still not moved in- staying at my in-laws tonight. technically its ready to move into, but with the baby we want to wait until it's really 100% ready. as long as one or the other set of grandparents is willing to take us in, we'll keep goin'. more work to do the next few nights after work, but it's coming along. ...i met the mailman yesterday, he seems nice.

movin' out

i came to the computer to post a song title in my song blog and i figured i'd post here as well and say that i'm abotu to move out of this place, and therefore i soon have to pack up this computer and stuff. what a pain in the ass moving is... especially when it's a blizzard outside. anyway, off i go!

sunny sunday

so we closed on the deal for our new house, and i spent most of my thanksgiving weekend painting and scraping and sanding and stuff. on sunday, as i was working on one of the windows in my son's new bedroom, i saw him and my wife out in the front yard. she was talking to our new neighbors, who are also a young couple with a 1-year old. my son and the other kid were walking around in circles on the lawn in their cute little winter coats with fur-fringed hoods. it was a brief moment of levity in an otherwise monotonous day of house-prep work.

breakfast part II

this morning:

* coffee
* granola bar
* lightly toasted "dreaming of ithaca"
* a bit of "celery and syrup"
* a fresh slice of "she's dressed nicely today"

and now i am enjoying a long-lasting "yo-yo ma cello suites" lozenge

this morning i had for breakfast

2 cups of coffee
one granola bar
one heaping spoonful of 'when she turns gold into gold'
a sprinkle of 'blue skulls'
and small glass of 'ecuador'

i had a dream that i was in a room full of people who were listening to and discussing my music. on vinyl nonetheless a dream, indeed.

cold feet

nothing helps cold feet on a chilly late fall morning like a pair of thick fuzzy socks.

last night i had a dream that i was driving up the overpass onto route 287 north, but i had to stop at the top of the ramp, becuase someone had put a shopping cart night in the middle of the road. i had to get out of the car to move it out of the way. i rolled it over to the side of the road, where there were two other shopping carts. later on in the dream, i was back in high school- and i was wearing a fleece vest that my mother in law got for me in whistler, colorado. for some reason i was apprehensive about wearing it. some archtypal football-player tough-guy who was wearing the same kind of vest, came over to me and gave me a compliment on it... i have no idea what this dream is about, or how the two parts are related.

i had a F'd up dream last night. i was going to a party at my friend brian's parents house in the town where i grew up. brian, after going to california and pursuing life as a rock star for a few years, was returning home to see everyone before he went away to join the army. as i walked onto the front steps of his house i noticed two things: 1) several children, next-door neighbors i presume, playing nearby on the grass; 2) a full needle & syringe, presumably filled with heroin. my initial thought was that of shock... why is there a needle here? so close to these kids? i think i picked up the youngest of the children who was playing close to the steps, in order to prevent him from getting too close- and because i didn't want to have to touch the needle to move it out of the way. just then, a fellow who must have been walking up with me (an acquaintance of mine from work), picked up the syringe. he started sticking himself with it, shooting himself up in his face. i told him that he was crazy, and that it could be diseased. he didn't care. and then he stuck the needle in my head. i though to myself- shit, now i'm going to get whatever he gets... but then i started to feel high and i didn't care. i went around the back of the house, to the party. brian was in an officer's uniform, with thick boots, with metal strips on the bottom. he was kicking, digging his heels into the ground, making a deep hole. that's it.

sharing an omlette

yesterday my wife went out for an afternoon with one of her girlfriends, and i watched the baby. i took him to the center of the town to which we are about to relocate. although i am familiar with the town, i wanted to get out on foot and look around. besides, it was a nice day anyway. i parked and put my son in the stroller, and walked to a deli/diner resturant. i ordered an omlette and a turkey sandwich. my son was hungry and ate most of the omlette. i finished only 1/2 of the turkey sadwich, but i finished off the omlette. the leftover 1/2 sandwich went into a to-go box, and went under the stroller in the stoage thingy. then we walked around town, into a few stores, but mostly just looking around and taking stock of what was there. as usual, my son enjoy watching all the people and cars go by. i also sang to him while we walked. i went to all the little quircky memorial parks, and read all of the commemorative plaques. there was one plaque, for the rotary club, that was obscured by plant growth and fallen leaves. i brushed them aside with my foot an read it aloud, like the others, but with a little more satisfaction. after a while, we had covered the whole area and made it back to the car, and packed up and drove away. my son fell asleep right before we pulled in front of the house. i ran inside and got a can of soda and the new york times magazine, and came back out and sat on the curb and read, while listening for my son, still sleeping in his car seat. the sun was nice and warm. i though about how nice it would be to have regular father-son afternoons every weekend in our new town, now and in the future- always starting out at the same resturant, ordering the same thing, talking, and then going to the playground or something. then again, if i start going to get my master's degree, maybe i won't have the time... but then again, why make time for anything before that? he slept for about 20 minutes; half-way into and article on linguistics i heard him whimpering, and i got him and brought him inside.

last night i had yet another "9/11 dream". i was on the street in a nondescript large suburban town, like morristown maybe. i saw something large diving down through the sky, leaving a trail of black smoke. it looked like a very large plane. it disappeared over the top of some nearby buildings, and there was a large explosion. i dove on the sidewalk by a bus stop and tried to cover and brace myself for debris. i was showered with suffocating ash, and i immediately got up to my knees, and then onto my feet, and retreated under an overhang of a nearby building. vaguely, i remember something about there being another person nearby, a woman, who was also ducking for cover- but it wasn't my wife or anyone i knew. -that's it.

house mix

so today we're going to officially be putting in an offer on a house. i signed all the papers on saturday- something like 50 pages of signatures and initials for me and my wife. it's almost as if they drag it out just to prolong the anxiety of the transaction. of course, it's not really a transaction until the seller comes back with an acceptance. we'll see how that goes.

it's worth noting, that the house we're going with is not the same house as i mentioned in my last blog. the first house was: a little further away from where we want to be, a little more expensive (both price and taxes), in need of a little more work (esp. in respect to bathrooms); but it also had a bigger yard, and more room inside. the new house is in a nicer neighborhood, further from busy roads, and with more families around. i can see many swing sets in neighbors' back yards. that's important. it does have lower ceilings, which is a little annoying but still OK.

on top of that, we saw one last house this weekend, in a nearby town. it was a similar price but with lower taxes. the land was nice, and the neighborhood was OK. the biggest problem was that it's basement was not finished off, but rather, it was filled with crap and it looks like it had water problems. that and they had just way to much clutter and crap to really get a feel for what the place would be like (for us). it's so much nicer to look at a place when it's empty. oh, and they had an annoying little dog that would not stop barking. in the end, the experience of seeing this one last place served to reinforce our feelings about the place on which we're making an offer... which we needed.

waiter on providence

so i went house-hunting this weekend and i guess you could say it went well. we've decided to take the first step towards 'pulling the trigger' on a house that we think is really right for us. it's nerve-wracking to sign away your life on a peice of paper and buy a house that is seemingly worth more than i ever feel like i'll earn in my whole life; but when i think of my son playing in that nice big back yard, suddenly it is all very clear to me. i picture myself pitching wiffle balls to him, and him swinging that fat red plastic bat- that is what i want, that is what i work for.

i had harsh, homemade white wine tonight; but the tea is just right.

surprise and pride

this morning as i walked through the revolving door, i saw the annoying cigarette-mooching lady b.s.'ing with the security guards. poor, poor security guards. that lady is truly annoying; and the guards just might be out a few cigarettes as well. so i got to my desk, and my boss sarcastically informed me that i deserved a gold star for arriving early. now, she didn't actually have a gold star sticker for me; but if she did i would have worn it all day, proudly. that's just the kind of mood i'm in today. a stale, sour mood. i'm wearing jeans and sneakers to work today, in return for donating $5 to a breast cancer research charity. this blog has no F-ing point. there is a mini basketball hoop over the recycle bin next to my cubicle. every time i get the chance (when i F something up and i have to throw it away) i crumple up the paper into a ball and take a shot. it's like the paper-ball equivalent of a 10-footer, not a 3-pointer by any means, but anyway, i often miss. but yesterday i made 4 in a row, which was a record. that was the highlight of my day, until i went home and saw my son take a few spontaneous, shaky steps, on his own, towards me (he's learning to walk). the look on his face was one of surprise and pride. that is what really made my day yesterday.

supermarket radio

so tonight after i put the baby to bed i grabbed the shopping list and went to the supermarket across the street. i parked the car and i opened the door carefully, making sure to avoid hitting the BWD next to which i had parked. i walked to the front door, stopping right before the automatic door to get a shopping cart. i wasn't sure if i really needed a whole shopping cart, but i didn't want to be stuck carrying a heavy, overladed, scuzzy handbasket. i headed straight or the deli counter, figuring that i would want to be sure to get my cheese order in before the counter closed. pushing me empty cart ahead of me, i high-talied it over to the deli coutner. there was one other guy there, and he was just finishing up. the lady behind the counter handed him his order and then looked at me and said, "what can i get you?". i said "half a pound of white american cheese." she said "do you want foodtown brand, or land o' lakes". now, i am 1/2 deaf, so i didn't quite catch the name of the premium brand- but i understood the jist of her question. so, rather than say "huh?" and make her repeat herself, i said: "the latter, please". she stood, with her back to me, and hesitated for a second, and turned around and said "i'm sorry, what?" she probably heard me just fine, she just didn;t understand what i meant. in an attempt to avoid embarasment at my hearing, now i am coming across as a spaz who uses SAT words with the deli lady at the supermarket. i reply, "the second one, not foodtown." she says, "land o' lakes?" "yes, please," i say.

later on, while picking out fruit, these two songs were played consecutively over the foodtown radio: "keep the faith" by bon jovi, and "a little bit me, and a little bit you" by the monkees. the bon jovi song made my think about my old boss, who is a lustfull jon bon jovi fan. the monkees song made me think of my friend the IOD, and how he believes strongly that the monkees were excellent songwriters in their own right. so i thought to myself: is this one of the songs they wrote? ...the answer is, of course, no; it was neil diamond. but it just so happens that this song was at the center of a blowup over the "50% monkees" contoversy, which resulted in the firing of producer don kirshner. it just so happens that don insistesd on releasing this single with "she hangs out", by jeff barry, as the b-side. the monkees revolted, pulled the single, and fired don. the single was released later with michael nesmith's "the girl i knew somewhere". sadly, mike was not allowed to sing on the recording- becuase he was not allowed to sing on singles at the time. micky dolenz song instead. but what's important is that it was a victory for the monkees: their third single was "50% monkees".

band name / song title

band: "the dirt naps"

song: "flowers departure"

song title

"i can see you from space"

song titles

"make it rain"
"please make it rain"
or "just make it rain"

song titles

"debbie's holster"
"mumble pie"

my dream last night went as follows: i was in high school, but i was as i am now, married with a baby. it was early in the morning before dawn, and was wandering around the back of the high school looking for a place to put a few garbage bags. i wanted to find a dumpster, but there was a security camera nearby, so in stead i found a wire wastebasket. later on, i was driving to school with some friends. i was in the back seat with the baby. i was trying to hold onto the baby and my lunch at the same time. my lunch was an order of mu shu chicken from a chinese restaurant. it wasn't wrapped up and it had too much sauce on it. it was getting all over me and the baby's stuffed animals. the smell was making the driver and passenger in the front seat hungry. we had arrived and were in the school parking lot. my friends got out of the car, but i was still inside with the baby. i was now giving him a bath. the back seat of the car was now mostly filled with warm water. my friends were looking in the window, and they wanted to help but i told them not to open the door because the water would all flow out and the baby would be cold. i found a baby towel in the trunk of the car. my friends got back into the front seat to watch; they were going to be late for class, but were staying with me in a show of support and solidarity. the scene flashes to a classroom. the teacher is making roll call. when the teacher calls my name, someone answers for me. the teacher look over to my desk, and sees a pile of baseball caps. all of the kids in the class are trying to cover for me by taking off their hats, piling them on my desk, and insisting that it is me.

back, in black

today marks the return of my long-absent co-worker, who lost her son back in august. she was out on bereavement and/or unpaid leave. she is wearing all black. i said hello and b.s.'d with her about printing digital photos at Costco and my weekend. i didn't give her a hug or ask her how she is; even though i sort of wanted to, it didn't feel right. it's hard to know what to do in a situation like that, to know what's appropriate. maybe she just wants to be treated like a normal person, and not consoled or pampered.

vintage

this morning while driving into work i listened to yet another recently-uncovered vintage demo tape of my band from high school. i found it in my parents attic this past weekend. there are about six boxes full of old stuff still up there. when i move into a new house some day i will have more room to take the last of that stuff. so anyway, the tape: like many before it, the volume is too low, the mix is bad, there's too much hiss, and i don't sing very well. but still it made me happy to listen to it. i was having trouble enjoying it as mush as i should have, because i was late for work and frustrated. the windows wouldn't de-fog. traffic was slowing to look at a car that had run off the road. at least two times i found myself yelling at the top of my lungs at the car in front of me. now my throat hurts, but i think it's because i am getting sick. i'm sneezing a lot, but i'm not congested. i just took a pill, which will probably help, but also probably will put me to sleep.

song titles

"my asymptote"
"you will know my name"
"drving through a cloud"
"keep your dissonance"
"i lost your number"

song titles

"No More Rainbows"
"We Applaud You"
"Make Haste"
"The Tallest Prison Tower"
"Everyday is the Same"
"You Leave Me Wondering"
"Dandelion Chains"
"Whisper it in my Ear"
"How Very Sad"
"Slow Motion Lover"
"The Last Keg Line"

song / album title

name a carlsonics album or song after an anagram of each of the band member's names. for example:

Aaron Carlson = Carnal Sonora

'Carnal Sonora'

Carnal: 1. Relating to the physical and especially sexual appetites: carnal desire. 2. Of or relating to the body or flesh; bodily: carnal remains.

Sonora: Western US small ground snake. 'These secretive snakes are seldom encountered, but can occasionally be found by turning debris in the daytime, out in the open near sunset, or on desert roads at night'.

concept album

this is an idea i have for a potential carlsonics record. it would be called "the carlsonics go solo"

it would follow a pattern much like the who's "the who sell out," except where the who has mini-commercial's in between the songs, this record would have short snippets of songs from each of the band member's solo careers. each "solo" career would be in some ridiculous genre. here are some potential solo musical genres..

- A barbershop quartet that the one person sings all the parts for
- grindcore/power violence (it really exists, though i've never heard it! i'm sure we could get creative though.)
- really over the top psychedelia about elves and snow queens
- french pop
- vaudeville (davy jones style monkees songs!)
- gospel
- holiday music (like a halloween album)


etc, etc...

the album art would be the most fun of all. pictures of our solo album covers.

concept album / song title

a concept album about all of the presidents of the United states. one song for each president, in order, from george washington to george w. bush. each song could be made up on the spot, recorded in one take, with only a history book in front of you. also, you should be drunk.

what should you sing about millard fillmore, you ask?

title: "the Know-Nothing Ticket"

it should be about him getting drunk the night after he was sworn in (he was not inaugurated!)- and he hallucinates and thinks that he's just been appointed captain of a pirate ship. drinking pirates. and he stands up on the bar and announces that he will change the national bird to the whiskey hawk. then he passes out.

either that or song about signing the compromise of 1850.

song titles

"Puppet with Broken Strings"

"Anytime"

song title / lyrics

"circumcised in gloom"

when ether is detected
in my wells of chardonnay
i remove the bandage
by calling it a day

pale gold is slowly seeping
to the corners of the room
here i sit, uncorked and breathing,
circumcised in gloom

lyrics

Funky Skunk
(by the IOD)

Funky Skunk wears shades and plays a mean bass
Funky Skunk rocks hard with the band and lays down a phat groove!
Funky Skunk practices all day and does his best when he's with his band
Funky Skunk plays for the ladies and likes to create
Funky Skunk tears up the stage with his solid thumping licks!
Funky Skunk is afraid of tomorrow and cries himself to sleep every night

band name

"the alcopostels"

pronounced al-co-pos-els

like apostles, but with 'alca' in stead of 'a'

song title

"(a) false dawn"

concept album

album or song about going to college for kayaking. in stead of an "A" the best grade is a "G". working towards your doctoral thesis at viking univeristy, institute of kayaking studies.

"course 101 principles of kayaking"
"course 202 the angle, the elispe and its tangients"
"course 300 the gregg lectures"
"course 401 field study: the estling lake annex"

song titles

"Your Father Won't Know"
"It Grows on Trees"
"Audrey on my Mind"
"Let Us Ventilate"
"The Sleepy Congregation"
"Chinese Checkers"
"(Without You) I'm Omnipotent"
"Got Caught Eavesdroppin'"
"Not The Top Bunk"
"Virgin Squid"
"I Do, Yes, I Do"
"You Don't Know Me Like That"
"Sever These Ties"
"Mostly Martha"
"Got My Fortune Read"
"Quantum Dew"
"Mommy's Cameo"
"Unconditional, Conditionally"
"You Can't Keep Running"

song title

"Perseus Cluster in B flat"

band name / concept album

band name: 'Coriolis Effect'
debut album: 'Angular Momentum'

and the album would be a vinyl record, with a picture
of the galaxy or a hurricane on the disk.

and the band members would all be named after famous storms/galaxies:

guitar: floyd andromeda
drums: andrew triangulum

lyrics

the sun does not shine,
so much as it cries light
as it tries to flush out
the specks of darkness in its eye

song titles

"Wet Wombat Turpentine Jamborree"

"Lost in the City"

lyrics

watching a black hole breathing,
the grand rapids have opened wide,
and its dirty laundry hanging,
as we peer deep down inside.

concept album & song titles

"timmy's tierra in the collafterlife"

1. unraveling (reprise)
2. light tunnel
3. access denied
4. stadium parking
5. collafterlife
6. and sometimes y
7. dewey decimation
8. the ascension

Temping for the afterlife!

maybe, as part of purgatory, before entering heaven, you have to temp for a while in hell, in the outer rings. for example, they would put you in a huge football stadium filled with millions papers that are blowing all around in a strong whipping wind... and you have to put them in alphabetical order, and there are no paperweights, so the stacks keep blowing over. and there are file cabinets, but they are all different sizes, and the drawers stick, and the keys don't work. and maybe there are even other collators who are trying to put them in reverse order.

bonus track: "paperweight on my heart"

band / album title

"(the) patronizing tones"

song / album title

"veins gushing extacy"

song title / concept

"why is it we never talk about ocelots any more?"

at the very least, the song title of a sarcastic love ballad about a male and female zookeeper who work in the "big cats" section, and who were romantically involved, but have had a falling-out, possibly over something like the tigers' feeding schedule.

song title

"shifting sands"

tonight's menu

Tonight's menu consists of crisp brown Shanghai duck in an almond demiglaze served with an apple tart confection. Humble servant Miss Harriet will put on a marionette show using a frustrating web of fine ram tendons as string while simultaneously belying her discomforting affinity for translucent chalk. Afterwards, little Timmy will play his violin and cry blood. All guests will be accompanied to the Retributive Grid as such in that they have violated conditions of the Treatise of Nymn.

Brunch will be served on the chrysanthemum veranda; simply follow the trail of leeks. The humid June air will kiss the dew off scorned lovers’ lips while we sip Sicilian table wine. Lance will hopscotch in the courtyard donned with his tiara of fire, while the scantily clad priestesses confined to the watercress fountains commiserate accordingly. Vanessa will adjust The Harness to accommodate the most trying wails. Rats will be coaxed out of rueful stupor to perform excellent tricks for viewers equipped with the radon ocular appendage, logged precariously in selected skulls.

Afterwards we will take a pleasant stroll in the garden maze, floating three-to-four inches off the earth, hovering through winding, inviting hallways of ivy and holly. Let us be enraptured by romance and bewilderment at the enchanting scents of crisp lilac and impending summer. Crowns of thistles and dandelion gowns swelter ‘round our heads like lethargic halos, leading us to an opening of deep grass and cascading, pink light – where we dip our soft toes in cages of water. Let us then ferry past the island of burning scarecrows to a doorway, arched with a heart-shaped hedge, where Samantha waits with a rose in her hair, courageously maintaining her composure as she waves to you a bouquet of quivering flowers and fingers.

by the BFF King

song titles

1. She Misses Mitch
2. Warm
3. Putting Up Maps
4. Skull Urn
5. (I Now Regret) That Thing I Did
6. Do I Stand A Chance?
7. Coal Age
8. No Way To Live
9. Morehead Correctional Facility 3rd Annual Mock Prison Riot
10. It’s In The Pipeline
11. No one is supposed to know the future
12. A Suspended Arch Bridge of One
13. It’s No Wonder
14. Skull Puppet
15. Little Polly Mathematician
16. Transitory Hush
17. Doin’ Hard Time (For Cryin’)
18. You Can Read Between The Lines
19. I’m The Last To Know
20. The Picture Came With The Frame
21. Your Love Makes the Grade
22. Meet Me Here (rip off 1st song on Windy and Carl, at the end)
23. No One Is Supposed To Know The Future
24. Got No Cause To Doubt You
25. Don’t Let Them Stand In Your Way
26. Honeycomb Hill
27. Rats Commiserate In Rose-Colored Fountains
28. Nathan Goes First
29. It’s True, They Never Knew Me
30. Dear Mr. Rickshaw
31. I’m Sorry You Saved My Life
32. Wish You Never Saved My Life
33. I Used To Love Her More
34. I’d Do It All Again
35. If I Fade Away (That’s Where I Am)
36. Teacher’s Pet
37. Frail, Frail Son
38. Weren’t Those Tears
39. Just Stay There

song title / lyrics

"Punjab, Stab"


Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Punjap, Punjap

(Crouching, stands the lion, proud mane)

Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

(There is a serpent who is no longer mortal)

Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

(Full moon strikes moist the hearts of men)

Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Stab
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

Punjab, Punjab, Punjap
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

Punjab, Punjab, Punjap
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

Punjab, Punjab, Punjap
Punjab, Punjab, Punjap

My daughter, why do you run?

(You are the coldest child)

song titles

"No More Rainbows"
"We Applaud You"
"Make Haste"
"The Tallest Prison Tower"
"Everyday is the Same"
"You Leave Me Wondering"
"Dandelion Chains"
"Whisper it in my Ear"
"How Very Sad"
"Slow Motion Lover"
"The Last Keg Line"

song / album title

name a carlsonics album or song after an anagram of each of the band member's names. for example:

Aaron Carlson = Carnal Sonora

'Carnal Sonora'

Carnal: 1. Relating to the physical and especially sexual appetites: carnal desire. 2. Of or relating to the body or flesh; bodily: carnal remains.

Sonora: Western US small ground snake. 'These secretive snakes are seldom encountered, but can occasionally be found by turning debris in the daytime, out in the open near sunset, or on desert roads at night'

caffeine

this morning i arrived at work an hour earlier than usual. same as yesterday. my wife and i worked out a new schedule so that i'm not taking care of the baby for quite so long in the morning, so i can get to work on time. the commute is better, and i think i'm getting more work done, and i can leave early if i want to, or i can stay and work late but still get home before dinner. i'm not waking up any earlier than ususal, but for some reason this new schedule has made me more tired. to make matters worse, i started sneezing like crazy this morning. in my junk drawer at my desk i have benadryl (along with other assorted medicines, napkins, stamps, ketchup packets, salt, etc) i popped two out of the blister pack, and washed them down with coffee. i was almost finished drinking my big mug of home-made coffee at the time, so i thought i would be OK. i am not OK. i am a zombie. a special drug-induced kind of drowsiness. so i just went to the drink machine and got a free company-provided caffeine hit: instant earl grey tea. it's good. i think it's helping. soon i will go to lunch and drink soda too. i guess caffeine is an essential part of my life these days. i would kill for a cigarette.