life is F'd up. just the other day i was doing something with e.w., that i did with my dad. i used to play in my mom & dad's closet when he would get ready for work in the morning. i would always open up his shoe shining kit and play with it. my dad showed me how to shine shoes, since i always took it out anyway. once i was good at it he would pay me like a dollar to shine each pair- probably just to make me feel accomplished or whatever.
so the other day while i was getting ready for work, evan wanted to just be near me so there he was int he closet. he usually just "helps" me pick out a belt and stuff. but this day he took out the shoe shining kit. i bent down to make sure he didn't get polish all over himself... and i started showing him how to buff a shoe. he was really into it, and he was buffing my shoe very carefully in no time. he was very proud of himself, and i thanked him and told him he did a great job. it was just weird. good-weird. i liked it.
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this is the subset of what goes on in my head that is fortunate enough to make the treacherous journey through the nerves in my neck, arms, and hands, down through my fingertips and onto the keyboard, through the wires, the computer, and the network, across the country on fiber optic lines, finding a permanent home in the electric memory of some server in san francisco.
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